We strive to be cool. We want people to think we are cool. But how do you become cool?
I have no clue.
However, I do know clothes.
Clothing is one of those elusive educations. It is not a math formula, where x will always equal…well, whatever x equals. I suck at math. No sometimes, x = q, or 17 - q, or 157 + q in a ski hat. The line between Hot Stuff and Totally Tacky is very fine, my dears. Positively microscopic.
I tried very hard for a lot of years to teach myself fashion. However, it didn’t come to me until I LET GO of my inhibitions, and STOPPED STRESSING. By the time I realized I had natural style coming OUT MY EARS, I was in my twenties. (Yes, I am bragging. There are few things that come easily to me, so I like to talk about them a lot when I find one.)
Anyhow, back to that fine line. You see, fashion is on a 20 year cycle. Which means that what you are wearing this year, you should be able to wear in 2027. And conversely, what you wore in 1987 should be totally hot this year. HOWEVER: this cycle has been shortened as of late. Instead of 1987, we are seeing recyclings of the early 90’s. Chunky shoes and browns and grays; babydoll dresses and even plaid.
(I would LOVE to find an original Backstreet Boys t-shirt from the mid-nineties. Not from anything later than 2000, cause that would no longer be hot.) (Yes, I am serious.)
Anyways, even though things are recycled, you cannot just wear them as you did before. NOOOOO, that would be TOO EASY. Baby doll dresses should be worn with jeans and heels or ballet flats, not tights and mary janes. Chunky shoes should either be worn with knee-length skirts or pants long enough to reach the ground while you are wearing them. Plaid should be done as a shirt, shorter skirt, or top; NOT AS PANTS. And dull colours need to be matched with bright accessories.
And cheezy concert tees should be at least 10 and no more than 16 years old.
And most importantly, fashion is FUN. Wear whatever you wear with joy.
THAT is hot.