Having 2 kids is tough.
It really, really is.
One of them is always hungry or tired or dirty or stinky or mad or hyper or puking or happy. There is a constant sucking of your life force as you make sure all their needs are met.
I remember thinking, before Carli was born, that life with one was cake. Sure, there were struggles, but overall, I was able to hold on to myself while still meeting all my kid's needs. Adding one more surely would be cake as well. After all, I had done it all before.
Maybe it is because my last infant experience involved 9 hours of day care a day, due to me having to go back to work immediately. This one involves me being that 9 hours of daycare, as well as preschool to Violet. Cook and maid. Laundress and chief errand-runner.
I adore being a stay-at-home mom. This is my dream come true. And I am lucky in that Jason works nights...so we get him for a good chunk of time during the day, before he hits the sack at 2. Meaning I get to sleep a little longer than the girls, thereby taking sleep deprivation off the table. And he is very helpful, and very involved in the girl's days. I get to take Violet to the library without Carli, I get to have an extra hand when cleaning up.
But it does get frustrating. I can't understand why he can't multi-task like I am forced to when he is not available. Both the girls decide they need to scream as soon as he goes to bed. I can't vacuum or do laundry while he is asleep because the sounds would wake him up. And I have to stay up until he leaves, so he doesn't sleep through the alarm, or forget his lunch, or not take coffee.
This whole Family-of-Four thing is incredibly rewarding. I am blessed beyond belief, and there are times when both girls are on my lap, and Violet leans over to give her beloved sister a kiss, when my cup runneth over. I wouldn't change it for anything, and occasionally I think, let's add a few more!
Then I stop being crazy. Because, good heaven above, this is way more work than I ever imagined.
But so worth it.