TODAY IS FAIL.

yes, well. um. I've been busy?

The past two days have conspired against me. first was the need for coffee yesterday, only there was no sugar free flavouring...and one can't drink coffee without that, right?

Then i was asked to speak talking to a 6th grade class about life in Alaska, got home an hour after our usual lunch time, and ended up splitting a microwave pizza with Violet (though that ended up being under 300 calories). And though I only ate one serving for dinner, I ate the other serving at midnight while feeding carli.

And today, well. crap. had the no calorie coffee today, but then it went downhill. actually, uphill in the sense that we were given (FREE!) a washer and dryer, downhill in the sense that i hadn't eaten by 1, so had a chocolate bar and a diet coke for lunch. then my perfectly healthy roast and farmer's market veggies turned out so horrific, it could only be consumed with gravy.

I did have light popcorn for snack, though!

erg.

I am living, luckily, with the Scarlett O'Hara motto: "Tomorra is anotha day..."

In the meantime, have a couple of adorable pictures.

256

I like myself.

Really.

I do.

but...

see, it is not about how i look. frankly, i think i look pretty fab as i am. and my delightful husband loves me no matter what my size.

Right now, that size is 22.

I am a big girl; it runs in my family. As does flirting and laughing loud.

And diabetes. Arthritis. Heart Disease.

Already, my knees creak when it is going to rain. My shoulder becomes immobile if I hold Carli for too long in the same position. I have to have extra cushioning on my bed, because the extra weight puts too much pressure on my bones otherwise.

Since becoming a Stay at Home mom, my fitness has gone downhill. I get winded going up the stairs. I tire way to easily. I sweat (though delicately and in a lady-like fashion) WAY too much.

So I have been trying causually make changes. Slimfast, walks while pushing the double stroller.

But.

I have a weakness for leftovers, as in I will devour the entire amount of leftovers from last night along with my morning shake.

I talk myself out of the girls' daily walks...'oh, we are running low on time, we'll drive to the park this time.'

So I need accountability.

My hope, along with many others who have tried this method, is that by publishing my struggles, by being honest with what is going on under my (adorable) clothes, I will stay on a more straight path.

so...here we go.

April 27th, 2009
256 pounds

Bring on the diet and exercise.

10 weeks and 3 years, respectively